Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I want to make a zoo with you.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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