I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
