I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
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Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
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I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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