Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize