I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
