Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
