Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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