Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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