you guys were way drunker than both of me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
