Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
