i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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