Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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