were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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