She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
