you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
