I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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