he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
