Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
