last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
