Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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