I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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