i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
