I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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