like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
