Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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