just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
