Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
