I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
