I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
