No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
