I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
