I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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