New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
