I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
