Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
