Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
