Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
