she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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