She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
