I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
