Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
