Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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