It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
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When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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