I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
