It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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