butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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