You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
