I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Randomize
