And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
