you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
