The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
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i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
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Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When did angry sex become our thing?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
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