where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
