hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
