wrigley field is MILF paradise
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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