hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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