he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
