I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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