The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He felt like a one man threesome
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
